Ok people here's my contest - WTF SHIT ON MY VAN! My van was parked at my cottage up in Holland, MA and this is what I found all over and yes people it is bird shit. I mean it's a Honda Odysee - a pretty big mini van and the whole damn side was covered in one large bird turd. Are there freaking Pterodactyl's flying around south eastern Massachusetts??
Here's what I don't understand about dogs. They eat call kinds of nasty stuff, dead animals, dirty underwear, their own vomit but none of that tends to give them a boo boo belly - but GOD FORBID if you change their dog food! All the sudden all hell breaks loose with their digestive system and all you smell is doggie air biscuits for the next few days! Go figure...
Last night Mimi and I were doing our nightly routine - which basically consists of watching the economy take a shitter on CNN and eating ice cream. As we cuddled on the bed I kept smelling what I thought was doggie gas. "Damn girl!" I kept saying "what the hell did you eat today". After about an hour there was a part of my brain saying something isn't quite right with this situation. I picked her up and low and behold she had the worlds largest dingleberry on her ass. Freaking out I rushed her into the bathroom and calling the hubby for help we proceeded to spend about 15 minutes scrubbing her ass clean then trimming the fur around said ass. If that isn't love I don't know what is!
To make a long story short my key didn't work at the cottage so we had to figure out a more creative way to get inside. It involved hubby hoisting my fat ass through a side window. Not a pretty picture I'm sure. The end result was me sliding through the window with my feet sticking out the back and hubby trying to keep me from sliding. What resulted was this nice bruise on the inside of my leg from all the poundage of me pressing up against the window ledge. Nice huh?
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